I am sipping on a cup of excellent Costa Rican coffee, with just a touch of almond milk and brown sugar. My breakfast is a bowl of greek yogurt piled high with fresh blueberries and strawberries. I am sitting at a modern, glass dining table in a sun drenched room - looking out at a city view past a sea of tree tops, and a perfect chalk blue sky with only a few cotton candy clouds hanging above it all.
When I wake up in the morning, the view outside my bedroom window is of a castle. Ok, maybe not a CASTLE - but definitely an Italian chateau. ( It looks like a beautiful Four Seasons Hotel was accidentally air lifted and dropped in from Tuscany!) Most mornings there will be a deer right outside that window. Two feet away. If you had told me this would be my daily routine a few weeks ago, I would have laughed at you in disbelief. With all of the horrible things going on in the world, how is it that I am so lucky?
Right before Christmas, I went to visit my brother's X-wife, Kari. I still love her, and my children still call her 'Aunt Kari'. We had a little time to talk about life things while our lads were entertaining each other. Everything seemed to be going as well as could be in her world. Her new marraige, her son, her new house. Everything seemed so right on. And Kari, herself, was more beautiful than ever. Happiness and confidence poured out of her lovely face.
Then the conversation turned to me.
I had a whole routine down to explain my erratic moves of the last year. I told her about all of our dear friend, Mark's, family and friends of family dying in the last few years BEFORE they got to take their dream cruise or dream trip. In some dramatic instances, it seemed they dropped dead two days before the cruise. Mark's family couldn't be more 'safe'. They were mid-west folks who played by the rules their whole lives. Two weeks vacation a year - ONLY two weeks (the rest of the first world countries think we are mad regarding this)...and then, like some cruel joke - DEAD - BEFORE they could enjoy their long awaited retirement.
"So, you see, Kari", I told her, "I was just not going to fall for that trick. I just decided to do it in reverse. Have my fun dream trips NOW, when I can and I'm super healthy and young enough to still get into some trouble, and then I won't mind if I work until the day I die. I'll just be some little old lady in a corner shop. You know, with a little apartment. I'll toddle on down to the shop with my lunch in a paper bag and sell things to nice people all day. I think that sounds pretty good."
"Oh, I see." she said."YOU are going to magically turn into a little old lady that works in a shop some day?"
"Yes! And I won't have any regrets - you see?"
"And when do you imagine this happening?" she asked with a smile in her eyes.
"Oh...you know..pretty soon. In my fifties, I guess."
"So, a few years from now - some time in your fifties - you're going to change into a completely different person?"
She said this looking right into me. She was certainly laughing at me inside.
"Why not? I can be a little old lady at a shop! You don't think so? What's the matter with that?"
"Nothing. I just have a hard time believing that you're going to turn into a completely different person than the one I know - the person that is standing right in front of me now. That's all."
I just stood there in disbelief. I must have had a very stupid look on my face, because then Kari laughed out loud.
"Oh, Jennifer! " she laughed, giving me a little hug, "Think about who you ARE. You're the one who is always travelling around the world - it wasn't just this year - going on crazy adventures...you're whole life is a crazy adventure. I'm just not sure you're going to be able to change into another person altogether."
I was stunned. My bubble popped. Maybe she was right. I thought about this for a few moments as she scooped up her little blonde boy, kissed him on the head and redirected his play away from an electrical cord that he was fascinated with.
"Cookie?" she asked sweetly, as she offered forth a chocolately bit of decadence.
"OK", I said in slow motion, trying to assess how I felt about this severe wrench in my life plan.
"So, are you saying..." I slowly forced out while waving the cookie in the air, ".. that I will NEVER be an old lady in a shop?"
Kari just smiled and shrugged.
"Are you saying that I'm just going to keep ON this way? "
"Well, you are YOU."
" Do you think I am going to become a sort of Aunty Mame kind of character? "
Kari just laughed and shook her head. "Well, more like that.." she said, amused.
"My goodnes, Kari. I never thought of it that way."
Now I'm here.
Only a few weeks later. Everything's been going so FAST. How did I end up so QUICKLY in what may arguably be the most beautiful spot in Texas? Despite the fact that I am now near penniless. (in cash anyway)
Just yesterday, my sister called me after a panic attack. The one thing she said comforted her was that she now knows that I am able to pack up and get out of any city in under a week.
Darn it! Maybe Kari's right. People that can pack up that fast, move, spend all their money, then land on their feet next door to a bloody castle might not EVER turn into little old shop ladies!
Oh well.
'Normal' is overrated in my book. Time for me to accept the new 'normal'. My normal. It's NORMAL for me to hit up 6 or 7 countries in a year. It feels just as 'NORMAL' for me to be so elegantly homeless now as it did to HAVE a home! I'll just have to kiss those dreams of NORMAL normal goodbye and be thankful for all the crazy good stuff that comes my way.
But that's all I can write for now. I have to plan an outfit for this weekend. I'm going on an excursion on an old fashioned steam train to the country with my little nephew, my brother and sister.
And one must ALWAYS dress appropriately for each and every adventure!
When I wake up in the morning, the view outside my bedroom window is of a castle. Ok, maybe not a CASTLE - but definitely an Italian chateau. ( It looks like a beautiful Four Seasons Hotel was accidentally air lifted and dropped in from Tuscany!) Most mornings there will be a deer right outside that window. Two feet away. If you had told me this would be my daily routine a few weeks ago, I would have laughed at you in disbelief. With all of the horrible things going on in the world, how is it that I am so lucky?
Right before Christmas, I went to visit my brother's X-wife, Kari. I still love her, and my children still call her 'Aunt Kari'. We had a little time to talk about life things while our lads were entertaining each other. Everything seemed to be going as well as could be in her world. Her new marraige, her son, her new house. Everything seemed so right on. And Kari, herself, was more beautiful than ever. Happiness and confidence poured out of her lovely face.
Then the conversation turned to me.
I had a whole routine down to explain my erratic moves of the last year. I told her about all of our dear friend, Mark's, family and friends of family dying in the last few years BEFORE they got to take their dream cruise or dream trip. In some dramatic instances, it seemed they dropped dead two days before the cruise. Mark's family couldn't be more 'safe'. They were mid-west folks who played by the rules their whole lives. Two weeks vacation a year - ONLY two weeks (the rest of the first world countries think we are mad regarding this)...and then, like some cruel joke - DEAD - BEFORE they could enjoy their long awaited retirement.
"So, you see, Kari", I told her, "I was just not going to fall for that trick. I just decided to do it in reverse. Have my fun dream trips NOW, when I can and I'm super healthy and young enough to still get into some trouble, and then I won't mind if I work until the day I die. I'll just be some little old lady in a corner shop. You know, with a little apartment. I'll toddle on down to the shop with my lunch in a paper bag and sell things to nice people all day. I think that sounds pretty good."
"Oh, I see." she said."YOU are going to magically turn into a little old lady that works in a shop some day?"
"Yes! And I won't have any regrets - you see?"
"And when do you imagine this happening?" she asked with a smile in her eyes.
"Oh...you know..pretty soon. In my fifties, I guess."
"So, a few years from now - some time in your fifties - you're going to change into a completely different person?"
She said this looking right into me. She was certainly laughing at me inside.
"Why not? I can be a little old lady at a shop! You don't think so? What's the matter with that?"
"Nothing. I just have a hard time believing that you're going to turn into a completely different person than the one I know - the person that is standing right in front of me now. That's all."
I just stood there in disbelief. I must have had a very stupid look on my face, because then Kari laughed out loud.
"Oh, Jennifer! " she laughed, giving me a little hug, "Think about who you ARE. You're the one who is always travelling around the world - it wasn't just this year - going on crazy adventures...you're whole life is a crazy adventure. I'm just not sure you're going to be able to change into another person altogether."
I was stunned. My bubble popped. Maybe she was right. I thought about this for a few moments as she scooped up her little blonde boy, kissed him on the head and redirected his play away from an electrical cord that he was fascinated with.
"Cookie?" she asked sweetly, as she offered forth a chocolately bit of decadence.
"OK", I said in slow motion, trying to assess how I felt about this severe wrench in my life plan.
"So, are you saying..." I slowly forced out while waving the cookie in the air, ".. that I will NEVER be an old lady in a shop?"
Kari just smiled and shrugged.
"Are you saying that I'm just going to keep ON this way? "
"Well, you are YOU."
" Do you think I am going to become a sort of Aunty Mame kind of character? "
Kari just laughed and shook her head. "Well, more like that.." she said, amused.
"My goodnes, Kari. I never thought of it that way."
Now I'm here.
Only a few weeks later. Everything's been going so FAST. How did I end up so QUICKLY in what may arguably be the most beautiful spot in Texas? Despite the fact that I am now near penniless. (in cash anyway)
Just yesterday, my sister called me after a panic attack. The one thing she said comforted her was that she now knows that I am able to pack up and get out of any city in under a week.
Darn it! Maybe Kari's right. People that can pack up that fast, move, spend all their money, then land on their feet next door to a bloody castle might not EVER turn into little old shop ladies!
Oh well.
'Normal' is overrated in my book. Time for me to accept the new 'normal'. My normal. It's NORMAL for me to hit up 6 or 7 countries in a year. It feels just as 'NORMAL' for me to be so elegantly homeless now as it did to HAVE a home! I'll just have to kiss those dreams of NORMAL normal goodbye and be thankful for all the crazy good stuff that comes my way.
But that's all I can write for now. I have to plan an outfit for this weekend. I'm going on an excursion on an old fashioned steam train to the country with my little nephew, my brother and sister.
And one must ALWAYS dress appropriately for each and every adventure!
