Tom's Valentine

Out of all of my romantic adventures, and silly ones and crazy ones and sexy ones, only two Valentine's dates stick out as great ones. They were both a LONG time ago, and I'm pretty sure I know the reason for my consistently bad Valentines from then on.

But - let me begin with the two very, very good ones. GREAT ones.

The first great Valentine's date I refer to was when I was still in high school - BEFORE Interlochen. I was only 14, and going to a Catholic girl's school in Dallas, TX. Ursaline Academy.I was living with my Grandmother - the wonderful one with the dress shop, who ended up sending me to Interlochen. The rest of my family had had it with Dallas and moved back to Austin, and I was asked by my father (for various reasons) to stay on with my Grandmother and help her out with the shop (I LOVED that shop!) and with my dying Grandfather.So I did.

I was happy as a clam at my Grandmother's house (even with death skirting around like a hungry coyote), and happy as can BE at her dress shop. Nothing phased me about her world. Even when the shop was robbed and I had to go down with her in the middle of the night and talk to the police. Even when my Grandfather died and she kept talking to him as if he were still in the room for a few months. I felt comfortable, confident and needed in that world. But SCHOOL - well, that was another story.

School at the Ursuline Academy of Dallas felt like a prison sentence that I had to endure every day. The other girls were SUPER mean to me. Not just ignoring me (I would SOOO have preferred that!), but taunting me out loud every chance they got. The first week of school was Freshman hazing week, and I was singled out and required to put a bag over my head and sing 'I'm So Pretty' from Westside Story at the top of my lungs while standing on a table in the crowded cafeteria at lunch time. From then on, I brought sandwiches and ate outside.

I was a straight 'A' student who was taking mostly honors classes, and Latin. I wore glasses, and didn't see any point in wearing makeup to an all girls school, or putting hot rollers in my hair every morning. For this I was teased loudly and viciously.So, I kept my head down, and tried to stay out of the way. BUT - I am not altogether a SHY person. As many of you know. I have a silly streak a mile long and am not opposed to making a fool of myself on occasion, or doing whatever I want, saying whatever I want when I feel inspired.

So, I was talked into going to the first big dance (with our brother school,a Jesuit one) by my only 2 girlfriends, and I decided to go in roller-skates. Why NOT?!!! Things couldn't get any WORSE for me, socially. And at this dance, I was found by a lovely, charming, great looking Jesuit Junior who thought it was mad fun that I came in roller-skates. His name was Tom Lyde. He looked like Tom Cruise, with one slightly crooked tooth in front (which somehow made him even cuter), but a little taller, and a smile that made everyone around him smile.

These were the days that girls looked around hopefully when 'Stairway to Heaven' started playing, and hoped that they wouldn't get stuck with some sweaty boy with bad breath for that ENDLESS slow dance. I usually got stuck with THAT boy for the longest slow dance of all time, but THIS night, THIS dance, was different. Tom saved me.He asked me to take the roller-skates off so we could dance, and we only did the slow ones - because he said he "couldn't dance". He walked me out of the dressed up gym, disco ball scattering light over our faces (looking JUST like a first high school dance SHOULD look) and asked me if he could call me up for a date. I said "yes" with full on TERROR in my heart - not because I didn't want to - I wanted to SO badly - but because I WASN'T allowed to DATE! I didn't want him to know that. I think I even lied about my age in a VERY stupid moment (he would find out I was a Freshman soon enough) - and I just went home and crossed my fingers.

I snuck out of my bedroom window the first few time we had a "date". And our "dates" consisted of me meeting him at the park by my house at abut 8 pm and kissing in his car for an hour with the radio on.
And the first time I met up with him to snog like mad in his back seat, he said something so impressive to me, that I later shared it with Max (when HE was approaching 'snogging age')and a whole car full of his friends.

In the front seat of his car, Tom took both of my hands in his and looked me in the eyes, very seriously.
"Jeni," he said, "there's something very important I want to tell you before we start dating."
(Of course I was terrified. I had never been on a DATE before, and he was older, I didn't know WHAT to expect!)
"I just want you to know that my family is Catholic.." he started. (what did THAT have to do with anything?)"..and I mean we're REALLY Catholic. We actually GO to Church every Sunday, and say grace before we eat, and all of that stuff."
I nodded solmenly.
"So, I don't believe in sex before maraige. I just don't. So, we can have fun, and fool around, and no matter what - I will NEVER pressure you into having sex - or even ask for it. And I have HUGE respect for women, so if I EVER even do anything that you're not comfortable with, all you have to do is let me know. And I won't be upset by that, or irritated - or ANYTHING. OK?"

Was it OK!!!???? Glory hallelulia! That was about the BEST thing a boy could have said to me right then! Whew! PRESSURE OFF!!! Bells RINGING, green light ON!!! SCARY SEX - OFF the TABLE!!!! Free to make out to your heart's content, little 14 year old virgin!
I smiled at him and nodded. "Yes. That is MORE than ok. I haven't...you know.Well, I haven't done ANYTHING yet." I confessed to him. (He still thought I was a grade older)

"Good." he said, pleased. "And there's one other thing. I don't drink.I mean - not at all.I won't even drink a beer until I'm eighteen. (legal drinking age in TX back then) So, if I take you to some parties, and everyone else is drinking - they ALL do - and YOU want to drink, or whatever, that's ok with me. But you will always know that you're safe getting into a car that I'm driving, because I don't do that. I just don't even want to.I don't need it, I'm having enough fun without any of that stuff. I'm always going to get you home safe, Jeni."

Wow. That was a LOT of good information. I was safe, no pressure on the scary sex front AND - HE WAS GOING TO TAKE ME TO PARTIES!!!!!! HA!

Tom Lyde changed my high school life. He was my savior.
About a week after our first contraband date, he drove by Ursuline, during my math class (he knew I was there - I don't know how!) which was looking out over the back driveway of the school (my desk was in the back, right by the window)with a whole truck full of Jesuit boys. They were all screaming and honking at us - but the loudest voice was Tom's.
He yelled out "Hey Jeni!!! How's that math class?!! JENI!!!"
Then all the boys in the bed of the truck mooned us, with Tom yelling out as they blazed off, "That was for you, Jeni!!"
My popularity rose about ninety percent after that. Tom was one of the MOST popular boys in school.

We "dated" for 2 years. My Mom and grandmother finally gave in and allowed it, both of them ending up charmed to their core by Tom. In fact, for many years, my Mom would say, "Whatever happened to that cute Jesuit boyfriend of yours? I wish you could have ended up with HIM."
We kissed and went four wheeling in his always evolving truck, went to the movies, to parties where neither of us had much to say to all the 'popular' kids who were getting wasted to the point of throwing up, he came to see me in all of my plays, and always kept his word about not pressing me for sex, and not drinking. I always felt safe with him, but at the same time, we had MAD chemistry. We always ended up leaving each other at the end of the night in a state of complete physical torture. And we hardly ever fought or even had an 'off' night. But, the second year we were together - we got in a fight about something. Something stupid. I can't remember what for the life of me.It was the week of Valentine's day.

Hurt and defiant, I asked my Grandmother if I could have a little Valentine's day party. Much to my surprise, she said yes. Tom was not invited, and the quarterback from a different school was. The party was elegant and fine, my grandmother was charming, and excused herself early in the evening, and the quarterback was gorgeous and attentive. But I missed Tom. It didn't seem right to be having Valentine's day without him. He was my very, VERY first puppy-love, and as much as I was TRYING to be in denial about it - I MISSED him already, and it had only been 3 days since we had spoken.

As I was cleaning up after the party, the front doorbell rang. It was midnight.
My grandmother shuffled to the door in her robe, a little upset that someone was calling at such a late hour. "My goodness, Jennifer!" she complained as she went to answer the door.
"Sorry, Granny. Someone probably forgot something." I said. But even as I said it, I knew it wasn't the case.
"Well, it's Tom." she said in a conspiratorial whisper as she peeked back around the open door at me. "What should I do?"
I shook my head, 'no'. "Tell him I'm already asleep or something."
My grandmother clucked a little over this drama and shook her head. "Well, don't you want to see him?" she whispered to me in a loud whisper. I shook my head 'no' again.
My grandmother turned to Tom, sadly. "I'm afraid she doesn't want to see you just now.I'm sorry."
She shut the door and shook her head at me. She loved Tom and thought I was being mean to him. She was right.
As my grandmother shuffled off to bed, I watched Tom walk back to his truck from the front windows. A sinking feeling pulled my heart down like a lead weight. I stood there, with only one lamp still on, the formal living room full of pink and red balloons, vases filled with pink and red carnations, in my pink dress, knowing I was doing the wrong thing. The pride devil had it's hold on me. I felt terrible, and stupid and stuck.

But when Tom got to his truck, he didn't get into it to leave. He reached in and pulled something out. Then he came back with both arms full (it was really dark) and plopped down on the lawn right in front of me on his knees.
"Jeni..!" he called to me through the windows."I can't sing, but...here goes."
And with that, he pressed a button on his boom-box that he'd dragged out of his car, and serenaded me with the Spinner's 'Workin' My Way back to You.'

"Jennifer!" my grandmother called out from deep down the hall, "Cut that racket out! You'll wake every one in Christendom!"

I ran to the front door and flung it open, ran to Tom on the grass and flung my arms around him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I said, as I covered him with kisses.
"YOU?", Tom laughed."I'm sorry I was a stupid ass!" He hugged me so tightly I could barely breath. "I thought I'd lost you, Jeni."

At that romantic, movie moment, my Grandmother made an appearance at the front door in her nightgown.
"Now, Tom! You just turn that thing off and come in this house! Turn it off! It's midnight!" and with that, she turned and went back in.

We turned off the boom-box and went inside, where Tom showered me with gifts. Roses, perfume and chocolates in a heart shaped box.I snuck him back into my bedroom for the first time that night. We kissed and talked and snuggled happily there in my bed until the sun came up. Neither of us took any of our clothes off (except for our shoes), and that was just as it should be. It was the PERFECT Valentine's night for a 15 year old girl, and one of the sexiest nights of my life.