Lyle Lovett.

OK. The pressure's on. This story is completely out of time/context - but which if my stories aren't? I have a problem with time. A big problem. I seem to move in my own version of "TIME". I am sure it contributes to my rampant insomnia.

But...Lyle.
We did not meet on the set of "The Player", but we were both there, and we were both in it. I had a tiny part as 'myself'. Which Robert Altman custom made up on the spot for me. That story is a good one on it's own - but one for another night.
I was already a huge fan of Lyle Lovett's music - big huge fan! There were 2 or 3 of his albums that I could listen to over and over again. They spoke to me. But I had never seen him live.
So, when he was playing a VERY small venue in LA - for his Large Band album, I went and was blown over EVEN MORE.

I remember that show so well. I was in a state of complete 'artistic crush' by the time it was over. So, I got brave, and sent him a note on a napkin. In lipstick. Which was all I had. It said something like, "I was in The Player with you, but too shy to introduce myself on set or at the screening. You were amazing tonight - and amazing in The Player. Thank you for a wonderful show! Jennifer Nash."

I didn't leave my number or anything like that, and didn't wait for him afterwards - just sent the note back, and that was that. So, when the phone rang the next afternoon, and a strange voice on the other end asked for Jennifer, I had NO reason to think it would be Lyle Lovett.

"Yes...this is she." I said. (who WAS this man with the deep, honey Southern drawl?)
"This is Lyle. Lyle Lovett."
"NO it's NOT!!!!"
"Yes. Yes it is."
"It is NOT Lyle Lovett! WHO IS this?" I demanded. I simply did NOT believe it was him. My mind started RACING to try and figure out WHO of my Texas friends could be impersonating him.It could have been James Brown, it could have been a few guys, I guessed.
"No. It's really me." Lyle chuckled softly. "I got your note last night - on the napkin. And I thought I'd call you up."
"This is NOT Lyle Lovett. I didn't put my number on it - who IS this!?"
He laughed again. His laugh was like soft, Southern, butter-silk.
"I called your agents. I hope you don't mind. A woman called Jerri gave me your number."
OH MY GOODNESS!!!! IT WAS Lyle Lovett!!!!!
"Oh!" I stammered, "Ohh...well... I'm so sorry. It IS YOU?"
"Yea. It's me. " (he was clearly enjoying this) "I thought we could have coffee."
"Ummm...yes. Yes. Sure. We can have coffee. We could do that."
"Well, could you meet me in about an hour?"

My head was SPINNING! I could NOT believe Lyle Lovett wanted to have coffee with me. But I figured - what the heck! I was BEYOND flattered, and just had SO much respect for him as a musician and songwriter. I whipped myself together and met Lyle Lovett for coffee.

I don't remember that first meeting so well. I was in shock and I was trying not to fidget out of pure excitement. Lyle Lovett was a pure Southern gentleman. He was intoxicating in person, just as he was on stage. He opened doors for ladies, pulled back your chair, stood up when you had to use the ladies room, and got your coat for you when it was time to leave. Something about being with him made me feel like I was in a period movie. Back in time. I felt like I should have a little powder on my nose, gloves in my pocket book, and order nothing stronger than a sherry when we later met for drinks.

We did meet for drinks later.
Except he didn't drink. He didn't drink and he didn't smoke, and he told me that he'd walked off stage a few times when he'd smelled pot wafting up from the audience. He was a Lutheran, he explained, and very strict (in some ways), also VERY close to family.He had his suits custom made. He'd pick out some pattern from the 30's or forties - usually a formal western style suit. He picked out the fabric, too. He told me all about it at the Hotel Nikko down on La Cienaga one night.I looked closely at his suit and realized how awfully fancy it was. My girlfriend, Emily Welsh, was with me that night. Lyle had asked me to bring a girlfriend to his show, and to drinks afterwards so he could introduce her to one of the musicians in his band. I was more than happy to oblige. We had a super fun time. The Hotel Nikko was awfully posh, with big melt-into arm chairs placed in little groupings around various fountains and ponds and plants. Very private and cozy. Very Japanese. On this particular night, I was drinking champagne, and getting QUITE high on Mr. Lyle Lovett. Emily wasn't into his friend, but she was a good sport, and stayed until late.

Lyle and I had hung out a few times by then. And though there seemed to be mad chemistry, nothing had happened. He always kissed me on the cheek goodbye. Or on my hand. Hugs had gotten longer. Phone calls, too. He wanted to call me up late at night from all over the country and talk for a long time. But on this night, he found a moment to speak to me in private (we were in a merry party of musicians, plus Emily and I). He took my arm very gently and sweetly and leaned in close.
"Would you like to come up to my room with me?" he dripped with his honey voice. "It doesn't have to be anything...crazy. We could just be by ourselves for a few minutes."
Damn.
I'm JUST sayin.....DAMN. He was just seducing me in the softest, sweetest way you can imagine. I was a LITTLE scared of him - because he was JUST THAT GOOD.
I looked up at him, all goo-goo eyed. "Ok." I whispered. (he made me feel so SHY!) "I'll come up..."

At some point, we excused ourselves - but not before I confabbed with Emily. Emily was an AWFULLY good friend to me! I grabbed her and dragged her into the lady's room.
"He wants me to go to his room with him!" I exploded to her in a whisper.
"Well...how do YOU feel about that?" she said. (she was all about looking after me!)
"I don't know! He's crazy sexy! And it's been...YOU KNOW!!!" (She DID know. She knew ALL about it!)
Emily paused and thought about it for a moment. She was good at that. She THOUGHT about stuff. I didn't so much back then. That's WHY I needed to ask her.
In a steady,calm voice Emily said, "I think it's ok, Jennifer. I like him. I think he's ok, and, I hate to say this - but I think you need this. If it feels good - I say go."
"Will you hate me for not leaving with you?"
"No! I'll be fine! Don't worry about that!"
Emily hugged me and gave me her blessing. It meant a lot. She knew all my secrets.

I went up to Lyle Lovett's room and began a memorable affair that lasted for about a year. It wasn't very OFTEN that we saw each other, and maybe he was full of shit. I say that because he was so romantic on the phone. And in person. He said such HEAVY stuff. He was so romantic with his words. So committed. It SEEMED. Like most girls, I have been a sucker for words. But first and foremost - I am a sucker for the physical. I am a Taurus, and although I don't believe in that stuff enough to take it VERY seriously - I HAVE to admit that I am ruled by my body.

Lyle Lovett built a temple to my body and prayed at it's altar that first night. And every night we spent after that. And I can tell you from first hand experience that Lyle has a BEAUTIFUL body himself. Like....exquisite. Exquisite. There is a REASON Julia Roberts married him after ONE MONTH of courtship. REASONS.

When I tell this story about Lyle Lovett - there are a lot of things I can't say. Not now. And it WANTS to be steamy. Sexy. But as my cousin is the one who asked for it - I'll leave that out for the most part. Suffice it to say, that I saw Lyle off and on (just because of his touring) for about a year. It was super sexy. Even when it was just on the phone. (he continued to call me from the road - and the calls got longer and longer - and sexier and sexier.) I feel all kinds of things thinking about him now. God, he was beautiful.

Anyway - things built up between us, until I got this film that was shooting in Romania. I told him all about it, and he said he wanted to meet me there - or in Europe after the film.I said yes. This man had me around his little finger. He was like a snake charmer, and I was the snake. I would have stopped drinking forever for him. I would have moved in next door to his Mom and baked pies for him. And that's not necessarily ME!! But that man had some magic power over me for SURE.

So, I went to Romania and did this film. There were no phones - let alone CELL phones! The film company BROUGHT bottled water and toilet paper and cans of tuna! It was crazy. Chris Earl was editing for this company - he warned me. I was there for almost 3 months.

When I got back, Lyle Lovett was married to Julia Roberts. Or just getting married.
Anyway - one of my first celebrity sightings in LA was Julia Roberts - at the Dresden. She was there with Keifer Sutherland. This was their heroin period. I bumped into her (literally), and was SHOCKED at how incredibly beautiful she was in real life. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt - no make up, a baseball cap - and she was STUNNING. STUNNING. She's not my favorite actress. I'll give her her due in certain roles - but she's not my favorite. But I have seen her with NO makeup - eye to eye - and she is gorgeous. Like freaky.

The funny thing is - that they moved into the house that looks over my back yard. I could SEE them on their balcony for the short time that they lived there. IN MY BACK YARD.

I knew they wouldn't last. Lyle was far too conservative, and Julia was a wild party girl back then. I could just HEAR him asking her to move to TEXAS! HA! That wasn't going to fly.

It was a little bit salt-in-the-wound to see the whole thing in all the tabloids when I got back from Romania. But I wasn't IN LOVE with Lyle Lovett. It was something else - but it wasn't IN LOVE. Maybe lust. With a huge dose of romantic fairy tale ....something.

The last time I saw Lyle was at a VERY posh vintage clothing shop on La Brea Ave.It was after 'Short Cuts'. Which I had just seen. And was now friends with Tom Waits.

"Well, hi!" I said. (I was hugely pregnant)
"Well...howdy. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Just fine. About to have a baby...any day now."
"Well..that's great. Just great." Lyle said,awkwardly.
"I saw 'Short Cuts'." I said.
"Really?"
"Yes, I did. And I have to say, I thought Tom Waits was SOOO much better than you - as an actor. You should stick to your day job." (yes! I REALLY said this.)
"Well...." Lyle started.
"Yea - just stick to the music, y'know? You're just NOT a very good actor."

And that was the last time I saw Lyle Lovett or spoke to him. There are BIG things I just can't SAY in a blog like this. And I'm not PROUD of my last words to him....but...I was pissed. He jilted me for Julia Roberts and then had the BALLS to move in behind me - in MY BACK YARD!!!! That was wrong. But - I don't think he knew it.

And I guess that's all I can say here and now.