Just got back from another hard day at culinary school. All of the instructors over there seem to be in CRANKY moods.(how can they be when it is SOO beautiful outside?)
I should be going over my math quiz right now to figure out all the stuff I got wrong - but I just can't face it yet. I feel like I'm in some bad high school movie. What's that one where Drew Barrymore has to go back to high school as an adult - and they STILL treat her like she's a total dork? THAT'S THE ONE!!!! THAT'S THE ONE I'M IN!!! Only there's no cute teacher to fall for in my movie.
Oh well. I'm proud of myself for today. I can be pretty awful about sticking my foot in my mouth, and for ONCE in my life, I kept quiet.
I got to school 4 minutes before the classroom door closed, and some other chef was in there chatting with my instructor. Out of the blue, he turns to me and asks, "So, do you miss Chef _, yet?" (my other night-time chef instructor).
I just looked at him. Immediately 2 answers flew into my head.
The first one was,"Well I'm pretty damn sure he doesn't miss ME."
And the second one was, (dripping with sarcasm) "Oh yes. I really miss hearing him lecture us about his X-wives. Riveting!"
But instead - INSTEAD, dear readers, I merely looked at this chef for several seconds with my mouth open (I'm sure I looked like an imbecile), telling myself very sternly, "Don't say anything, don't say anything.." and finally sort of blurted out, "....uh...yea."
This was a small victory for me. Especially considering how out of it I am in the morning. I am just not a morning person. I do not like this new schedule very much. Sometimes I wish I could whine to someone over there about stuff. I wish I could tell someone that that other chef seemed to dislike me quite a bit for some reason (maybe I remind him of his X-wife - one of them? I don't know!) , and that I'm too lonely here as it to be able to handle that AND the mean kids at school. I don't know what it is about Portland, but no one talks to me here. It was so different feeling when I was on my own in Paris or Bali - even South Africa. I spent loads of time there on my own - but people TALK to you. If you are sitting at an outdoor cafe in Paris all by yourself - someone will strike up a conversation with you.
One lovely evening in Paris, I was having a drink at Duex Magots all by my lonesome. I started writing in my journal, and before I knew it, a handsome man a couple of tables over asked me if I was a writer. We ended up talking for two and a half hours - despite the language hick-ups. It was great fun to meet people like that - all over the place. This couple that Mark and I met in Bali are still our friends - we ended up hanging out with them in Portland when we up here scouting it out. Total strangers. But one of us was brave enough to say "hi", and now we have some really cool new friends. Mark's even written them into his screenplay!
Here, I may as well be a leper.
Thank goodness for you, gentle readers. You are the most communication I have in any given week.
Thanks for hanging in there with me!
I should be going over my math quiz right now to figure out all the stuff I got wrong - but I just can't face it yet. I feel like I'm in some bad high school movie. What's that one where Drew Barrymore has to go back to high school as an adult - and they STILL treat her like she's a total dork? THAT'S THE ONE!!!! THAT'S THE ONE I'M IN!!! Only there's no cute teacher to fall for in my movie.
Oh well. I'm proud of myself for today. I can be pretty awful about sticking my foot in my mouth, and for ONCE in my life, I kept quiet.
I got to school 4 minutes before the classroom door closed, and some other chef was in there chatting with my instructor. Out of the blue, he turns to me and asks, "So, do you miss Chef _, yet?" (my other night-time chef instructor).
I just looked at him. Immediately 2 answers flew into my head.
The first one was,"Well I'm pretty damn sure he doesn't miss ME."
And the second one was, (dripping with sarcasm) "Oh yes. I really miss hearing him lecture us about his X-wives. Riveting!"
But instead - INSTEAD, dear readers, I merely looked at this chef for several seconds with my mouth open (I'm sure I looked like an imbecile), telling myself very sternly, "Don't say anything, don't say anything.." and finally sort of blurted out, "....uh...yea."
This was a small victory for me. Especially considering how out of it I am in the morning. I am just not a morning person. I do not like this new schedule very much. Sometimes I wish I could whine to someone over there about stuff. I wish I could tell someone that that other chef seemed to dislike me quite a bit for some reason (maybe I remind him of his X-wife - one of them? I don't know!) , and that I'm too lonely here as it to be able to handle that AND the mean kids at school. I don't know what it is about Portland, but no one talks to me here. It was so different feeling when I was on my own in Paris or Bali - even South Africa. I spent loads of time there on my own - but people TALK to you. If you are sitting at an outdoor cafe in Paris all by yourself - someone will strike up a conversation with you.
One lovely evening in Paris, I was having a drink at Duex Magots all by my lonesome. I started writing in my journal, and before I knew it, a handsome man a couple of tables over asked me if I was a writer. We ended up talking for two and a half hours - despite the language hick-ups. It was great fun to meet people like that - all over the place. This couple that Mark and I met in Bali are still our friends - we ended up hanging out with them in Portland when we up here scouting it out. Total strangers. But one of us was brave enough to say "hi", and now we have some really cool new friends. Mark's even written them into his screenplay!
Here, I may as well be a leper.
Thank goodness for you, gentle readers. You are the most communication I have in any given week.
Thanks for hanging in there with me!
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