Sometimes LIFE is wierd.
Sometimes it's confusing.
Sometimes it doesn't seem worth it. The living part.
I get it. The drudgery of "LIFE".
And we, in this country, don't always have the luxury of survival mode. In other countries - in other cities - things are so difficult that people kick into survival mode and just MAKE IT THROUGH. They try to feed their kids. They do not question what they have. There is no bigger question than "Will I live another day?" or "Will my children live another day?"
I have been lucky. I had my first child when I was so young. And like so many well educated young Western children - if I hadn't had my first child when I wasn't old enough to legally drink - I may not have made it. I may have questioned things too seriously. It might have hurt too much. It HAS hurt too much. But I have not had the option of checking out. As an adult, I have always had another person to worry about. Another person to feed. Another person to love, and another person to love me.
I read "Gone with the Wind" when I was 15. Or maybe 14. I loved it so much. I loved Scarlett O'Hara. Even though she was an anti-hero. The point I took away from the book was that women were taught that LOVE was an entirely different thing than SEX. And SEX was evil. Women who wanted sex or were sexually attracted to men were evil. LOVE was taught to be a religious thing. A holy thing wrapped into matrimony and children - a thing women were not allowed to enjoy. The slavery aspect of "Gone with the Wind" seemed to me secondary and - (different from the movie) - I did not take away the idea that the novel idealized it - but rather made fun of the notion that so many Southern folk idealized the concept. Made it romantic when it was actually diabolical. I thought there was a parallel drawn between slavery and marriage. Which - I can see as well as any other human - is a bit overwrought and exaggerated (clearly slavery being much, much worse than marriage - not exactly parallel) - but if one were to go down that road of thought - Scarlett was an awesome anti-hero. Using marraige to her advantage financially (using the institution that 'enslaved' so many women), but saving her plantation and her family in the process. And, ultimately, realizing her very,very flawed idea of romantic love. Whether or not it's too late for Scarlett - we are left to wonder. Whether or not she deserves redemtion at all - is also a good question. But in the face of sexist repression, in a world where Scarlett's waistline is more important than any thought in her head, she at least proves herself self reliant and resourceful. She delivers the difficult baby of the woman who is married to the man she thinks she loves - and rescues her, her baby and young Prissy through war and fire, then proceeds to do any and everything to save her family and their land.
SURVIVAL.
THAT'S what I admired about Scarlett. She was a survivor.
How many times have I quoted to myself, "After all, tomorrow is another day.."
I am on the other side of young now. Thank goodness. And I can tell you from experience that tomorrow IS another day. No matter HOW crappy today might be - tomorrow might just be the best day EVER. REALLY.
Sometimes it takes a few days to crawl out to the the other side of rotten - but you never know. Sometimes tomorrow can surprise you in the best sense - IF YOU LET IT.
And sometimes we all have to believe in the future when our 'now' is too painful to believe in or accept.
Sometimes it's confusing.
Sometimes it doesn't seem worth it. The living part.
I get it. The drudgery of "LIFE".
And we, in this country, don't always have the luxury of survival mode. In other countries - in other cities - things are so difficult that people kick into survival mode and just MAKE IT THROUGH. They try to feed their kids. They do not question what they have. There is no bigger question than "Will I live another day?" or "Will my children live another day?"
I have been lucky. I had my first child when I was so young. And like so many well educated young Western children - if I hadn't had my first child when I wasn't old enough to legally drink - I may not have made it. I may have questioned things too seriously. It might have hurt too much. It HAS hurt too much. But I have not had the option of checking out. As an adult, I have always had another person to worry about. Another person to feed. Another person to love, and another person to love me.
I read "Gone with the Wind" when I was 15. Or maybe 14. I loved it so much. I loved Scarlett O'Hara. Even though she was an anti-hero. The point I took away from the book was that women were taught that LOVE was an entirely different thing than SEX. And SEX was evil. Women who wanted sex or were sexually attracted to men were evil. LOVE was taught to be a religious thing. A holy thing wrapped into matrimony and children - a thing women were not allowed to enjoy. The slavery aspect of "Gone with the Wind" seemed to me secondary and - (different from the movie) - I did not take away the idea that the novel idealized it - but rather made fun of the notion that so many Southern folk idealized the concept. Made it romantic when it was actually diabolical. I thought there was a parallel drawn between slavery and marriage. Which - I can see as well as any other human - is a bit overwrought and exaggerated (clearly slavery being much, much worse than marriage - not exactly parallel) - but if one were to go down that road of thought - Scarlett was an awesome anti-hero. Using marraige to her advantage financially (using the institution that 'enslaved' so many women), but saving her plantation and her family in the process. And, ultimately, realizing her very,very flawed idea of romantic love. Whether or not it's too late for Scarlett - we are left to wonder. Whether or not she deserves redemtion at all - is also a good question. But in the face of sexist repression, in a world where Scarlett's waistline is more important than any thought in her head, she at least proves herself self reliant and resourceful. She delivers the difficult baby of the woman who is married to the man she thinks she loves - and rescues her, her baby and young Prissy through war and fire, then proceeds to do any and everything to save her family and their land.
SURVIVAL.
THAT'S what I admired about Scarlett. She was a survivor.
How many times have I quoted to myself, "After all, tomorrow is another day.."
I am on the other side of young now. Thank goodness. And I can tell you from experience that tomorrow IS another day. No matter HOW crappy today might be - tomorrow might just be the best day EVER. REALLY.
Sometimes it takes a few days to crawl out to the the other side of rotten - but you never know. Sometimes tomorrow can surprise you in the best sense - IF YOU LET IT.
And sometimes we all have to believe in the future when our 'now' is too painful to believe in or accept.
