Summer Lovin'....

I am just back from the Hollywood Bowl. From the 'Grease' sing along that IAA organized. It was super fun. I went with my brother, Marcus. There were probably hundreds of drunk pink ladies there. Marcus and I couldn't stop laughing at the spectacle and energy of THOUSANDS of girls and women of all ages (and I do mean ALL) - most of whom seemed to be completely LOADED by the time we walked back to our car. There were hot 40 year olds carrying bottles of vodka and drinking right from the bottle, and hot 30 year olds with champaign, and twenty somethings with their gay BFFs, and I saw a drunk 80 year old woman in a poodle skirt with rollers in her hair being led down the stairs by her drunk 50 year old girlfriends (also dressed up!) There were daughter/mother teams and Father/daughter teams. It was super cute.

I thought about Marieke (see Marieke post for relevance), but I thought about her in a good way. For once able to remember such sweet and specific things about her without crying and hurting so badly. I thought about my daughters. And I thought about love.

'Grease' is such an interesting movie. With influences from 'Romeo and Juliet' to 'The Gift of the Magi' to 'Rebel Without a Cause' - the story is about love. Plain and simple. And it's about sex and sexuality. The perfect 70's classic - an homage to the fifties, but also breaking out a message of cool 70's sexual liberation. It was really fun to hear the crowd SCREAM bloody murder when Sandy is revealed as her new sexy self, all done up in her Candies and spandex.

A couple of days ago, I declared on facebook that I intend to have a brilliant summer. And that summer has begun. Last summer was full of loneliness, heartbreak and stress for me, and I won't do that again this sumer. I wrote about mutant powers after seeing the new X-men movie - and I have started to experiment with my own to astounding results.

Let me explain.
For much of this last school year (I still measure everything in school years) I have been pining over an old boyfriend. Someone who materialized from my distant past and made me realize that I have screwed EVERYTHING up as far as love goes. And it's been hard. No one can live up to him. No one. So, this dinosaur/superman/love of my life guy sweeps in and CLEARLY DEMONSTRATES that I'm screwed (as far as love goes) - and I just think, "Why bother? Why bother getting up in the morning or going to the gym or anything? What is a life without love? True love?" That's what I've been thinking every week for months. I know. I sound like a pussy. And I DO have love. My kids - OBVIOUSLY. They are awesome - and of course I have them and I am very lucky. But you know what I mean.

So, after living in the hospital for almost a month with my daughter, I started feeling like I just HAD to get back to myself again. But didn't know how. So - first things first - plays, movies, art, music. And after the X-men thing, I had to ask myself, "What do you want?"
My answer was "I don't know."
There would be NO boyfriend that could live up to this old love from the past, and also I am gun shy about boyfriends after the last couple - but STILL... I crave romance and intimacy.
I gave my mutant powers a try.
I decided to WILL a romantic fling - complete with good conversation, kisses and snuggling - into my summer.
And night before last.....the Gods, or my own powers, or fate, or WHO KNOWS - dropped the perfect fantasy evening into my lap.

At the end of a fun, adventurous night with my friend, Ted - and after picking Mark up at LAX at midnight, the most random coincidence occurred - right down the street from my house, at my neighborhood French restaurant. Ted wants more whiskey at the end of the night. It's past last call here in early LA, and Mark is tired and cranky from a long, bad flight. Ted persuades us both to stop at La Poubelle for a nightcap after I confirm that there is no liquor in the house.
"None at ALL?" he demands. "NO WINE? ANYTHING?"
"Sorry, nothing." I reply.
We go in and sit at the bar at La Poubelle. The bartender is nowhere to be seen. But sitting next to me is an incredibly handsome man. He turns to me, holding his beer. He looks like Joaquin Phoenix - only more handsome. He has incredibly intense blue-grey eyes, rimmed with black eyelashes and a gap between his 2 front teeth - just like me. We discuss the whereabouts of the bartender. When said bartender arrives, Mr. Fantasy-come-to-life buys my drink. This rarely happens in LA. Then he asks me to keep him company for a smoke.

He turns out to be a father and a neighbor. Not only a neighbor - he lives about 5 houses away from me. He comes home with me to 'hang out some more'...you know - meet the neighbors.
Sophie is home by now. She meets him and gives me an enthusiastic thumbs up.
"He is SOOOO attractive!" she whispers to me. Now I feel like the teenager - hoping he didn't hear her. I give him a tour. Ending up in the back yard. Which is more like a field with a view than a yard. We stand in the tall grass, looking over at the mansions on the other side of the hills. The moon looks like it's made of paper.We talk about how great this neighborhood is - how much fun it is to have deer in our back yard and skunks and raccoons - in such a big city. Then he walks towards me. He takes my hands in his.
"I just want to kiss you right now."
That's what he said.
And so he did.

Ed says my blog shouldn't have "adult content" warning because it's so tame. And maybe he's right. But still..... the rest of this story is going on my fiction blog. Let it suffice to say.....those kisses under the paper moon turned into the fantasy night that I asked for and WILLED into being. They were an answer to....something. Some question of love. Or summer. Or the power to will something to happen - or God - or fate - or I don't know.

All I know is that that night turned into a night that dreams are made of. Really movie style dreams - unbelievable. I kept thinking "I'm dreaming. this isn't really happening..."

And tonight, at the Hollywood Bowl, in the cool and temperate weather we are blessed with - watching the drama of the beautiful Hollywood sky unfold with the movie - I thought once again - "This can't be real. I am living in a dream. In a faery tale. But I WILL take it. I will accept this gift."

I may not have summer love. True love. But I will TAKE some summer lovin'.
And thank you - whoever - for it.

the Ultimate Weenie (or Weiner Burns His Wings)

Look...I was up a good part of the night thinking about this Weiner scandal-thing. Not because of IT - or at least at first - but because of the conversations it sparked on - you guessed it - Facebook. Well...and on TV and in life, etc.

When I first saw the story break, I believed the man was hacked. Like the true optimist and romantic that I am. I LIKE Weiner as a politician. REALLY LIKE. Appreciate what he fights for and how he does it. He is well spoken and I think he relates - or RELATED - to younger voters. Which I think is VERY important. So - I did what I've done many times in my life - I believed what I WANTED to believe.

Then he confessed. Finally. After lying to a whole lot of people. Did you SEE that? Oh. So pathetic. Really sad.
I am one of those people (perhaps in the minority) who don't care much what an elected official does with his private life - no matter how silly - as long as it's consensual,legal, etc. I may feel a bit sorry for his wife - but then again, I don't know either of them. I do NOT know their story, and it's none of my business. I was disappointed in one of the few elected officials that I thought was worthy of their office - but - not GREATLY disappointed. Not at first. Not like when Obama took his sweet time responding to the BP oil spill. That is our PLANET! THAT was people's LIVES - in the immediate. THAT was a big deal - weeners in underpants are NOT such a big deal in my world view...

But THEN....it started to become CLEAR. Conversations started up all over the place. And I am fascinated. And starting to see that Weiner's weener is a MUCH BIGGER DEAL (he probably likes that) than I had previously imagined.

Here's how I am seeing it all now.

1 : A lot of passionate liberals had Weiner up on a pedestal - a little bit. Maybe even me - just a little. And he super shocked and disappointed us. Especially with the lying to everyone part. Let's face it. It felt personal. After all, he really did lie to ALL of us, too - on MANY forms of national TV. Premeditated lying. A passionate liberal's LEAST favorite kind - am I right?

2 : I am afraid that his actions (especially the lying) will turn off untold amounts of young voters and women voters. Our team needs those votes. Young people don't care as much about the photos or tweats - but they are SUPER SENSITIVE to hypocrisy and being lied to. If Weiner lies to them (and he's perceived as one of the good guys) - then they may as well stay at home and NOT VOTE. Because it doesn't even matter. (They are ALL liars and hypocrites.) - AND - for OBVIOUS reasons - WOMEN are not going to want to vote for him. They will put themselves (many of them) in his wife's shoes and FREAK OUT!!! If HER husband is going to do this to HER - and she is SO uber-glamorous and successful and cool - AND they're practically newlyweds....! This looks VERY BAD on paper! I mean we don't - any of us - quite know the inside details - but - it looks bad to a WHOLE LOT of women.
Harry and Nancy and the Dems couldn't BE more pissed right now - and I don't blame them. Weiner goes and gives the other side a loaded gun and then moves their hand so it's pointing right at him, and by default the democratic party. (and JUST when they seemed to be making some headway! We all know how HARD it is for the pussy Dems in this country right now1) I hope he survives this as well as Clinton did, personally - on some level - but it ain't lookin' so good for Weiner!

3 : There is something so awful and shameful in seeing a man as talented and clever as Weiner make SUCH a HUGE WEENIE out of himself. One of the brightest stars in Washington D. C. - on a glittering career path - WHAT!!!????? Destroys himself? By behaving like a second grade BOY? A man - who vocally,admits on the NATIONAL STAGE that he has been teased about his last name being WEINER all his life is SENDING PHOTOS of his WEENER ON the INTERNET!!!?????????????? Is it possible that this could be lost on ANYONE?????? AND - the cleverest boy in the room is SOOOO out of touch that he doesn't realize that TWEATING is by it's VERY NATURE both narcissistic and PUBLIC!!!!!???

It really is beyond my comprehension.
I have come to the conclusion that Weiner is like Icarus. Like so many that are great or almost great. They fly too high - their egos take over - even any shred of common sense is lost - and their wings are melted by the sun. Mighty, beautiful Icarus comes crashing to his demise into the cold ocean below.

Weiner might pull it off. I don't think so right at this moment in time. I do not have much hope for him. But maybe he'll pull it off.
And either way - this "non-sex scandal" really has me thinking. Thinking about men and women. Why and how we are so different - but also these STRONG similarities that are often denied.
We all need love and attention. We all need our egos stroked now and again. Practically none of us are perfect. And a LOT of men (I hate to tell you this, ladies - but it's true) have an odd obsession with their weeners.

It's NOT JUST WEINER.

In summation - I am super disappointed with Weiner for being such a STOOOOOPID weeny. But I guess I feel a little TINY bit sorry for him. You know, for being such a loser and such a tool. He doesn't even RANK sleaze-bag in my book. He doesn't deserve it. Only the much less exciting title of ...WEINER the ultimate WEENY.

What is YOUR Mutant trait?

I've just come from seeing 'X-Men, First Class' with my 13 year old son. Which I enjoyed very much. Which, surprisingly, I found myself relating to.

I have always tried to convey to my children that a person's biggest weakness can also be their biggest strength. So I related to the movie on that level.

For example, one of my worst traits is that I am stubborn and don't listen to anyone. This most certainly can and is seen as a bad thing many times. But it also gave me the will and strength to go to school in London with a tiny boy when everyone around me said I'd be crazy to do it. "Just stay in Dallas and 'settle down.'" they said. If I had followed their advice I probably would have shot myself in the head by now. Instead, thanks to my bullheaded nature and an uncanny ability to take no one's advice throughout all of my younger years, I had the adventure of a lifetime and some great training as well.
Another time that I tapped into this mutant power of mine was when I bought this house."You'll never be able to handle it. Just move into an apartment" everyone around me said as if I were crazy.A single mother of 3 (at that time) with jobs that resembled a financial roller-coaster, and ZERO credit had no business buying a house in the Hollywood Hills. I willed and morphed myself into Scarlet O'Hara just as Mystique can morph into someone she needs to be at that moment - channeling the power of that character to buy a house that would give security to myself and my children. "As God is my witness...As God is my witness!" I shouted in my back yard,shaking my fists at the sky.
This house has turned out to be the best thing I have ever done for my family. It has literally saved us year after year, put groceries on the table, and been a haven for starving artists and mutants of every description.

I also took pause at the scene when Magneto tells Sebastian Shaw (the Nazi who killed his mother in front of him as a boy) that everything he (Magneto) had become was because of this man's evil doing. All the hurt and rage that was caused to the Magneto character gave him strength of will and power.
Although my mother wasn't killed in front of me as a child - she did leave. Never to come back. When I was 4. I feel sure that all of my childhood hurt and rage has empowered me many times. And during that miserable, tortured childhood - I felt like a mutant. I felt like I was covered in blue scales. Or that I might just LOSE it some day and my anger would change me into a raging, animal beast.

I think we all feel like a mutant or a freak sometimes.
And I think a sense of justice and right lives in most of our hearts - more than we even know.
Deepak Chopra has just written a book with his son, Gotham, about comic book heroes - why people relate to them so much, and why they are cool. As a child, I felt so helpless. And never have I felt so idealistic about things as when I was a child. So - delving into the land of comic books, where mere mortals are given special powers or special tools to fight evil and injustice was liberating. The stories are purely fantastical, but the feelings and ideals are relevant and on par with the heightened emotions of children - before we are so well trained to 'tone it down' by society and culture.

What is your mutant trait?
What are YOUR special powers?
I can't speak for anyone else (of COURSE!), but I need to remember what mine are and damn well tap into them before life washes over me like a giant tsunami and buries me in the sand of insignificance and irrelevance for the rest of my short life here on earth.

Sophie goes to a Piano bar in NYC

Last year, I took Sophie to New York for New Year's Eve. Just the 2 of us. I am a strong believer in one on one time with your kids. Especially if they are super fun and great and always teach you new things, as mine do.
We only had a few days to pack in the quintessential New York girl trip, then have New Year's Eve with Uncle B, Laura and their whole wonderful family in from Paris before we had to pop back to LA LA land for school. I had found what I hoped would be a pretty cool hotel right at Columbus Circle, but when Sophie looked up at the entrance, she had to express her SERIOUS doubts.
"We're staying HERE?" she said, glumly.
"Well, this is the address.." I replied. I could see why she was skeptical. The only thing to see from the street was a VERY plain cement wall with a small door in it and the address barely visible above. I mentally crossed my fingers that it would be as cool as it had looked on the old 'interweb' when we got inside. Once inside the door, there was a narrow hallway, just big enough to hold a narrow escalator that went up and disappeared into a hole in the ceiling. There was also a man dressed all in black who glared at us and looked like a waiter in a trendy restaurant. With the grey walls and the weird lighting, it was actually a little sci-fi scary.
"Come on!" I said, cheerily, lugging our bags onto the escalator. Sophie just shot me a look.
But THEN - what happened as we rose up through the escalator into the next level - was WONDERFUL! We were brought up to a huge open space - immediately greeted by the sight of a huge glassed in garden behind the registration desks, and skylights above, beautiful topiary everywhere in this dark, cool looking space. It looked like Victorian English conservatory meets uber-glam, ultra modern NYC.
I wanted to see the look on Sophie's face as we passed from the bland and scary entrance into one of the coolest hotel lobbies I'd ever seen. I was well rewarded. She looked a bit in awe, then soon as she could, she was tugging on my sleeve (do children ever outgrow doing this?) whispering, "This is SO COOL, Mom. How can we afford this place?"
I just laughed. I have very good hotel karma. Very good parking karma. Terrible line karma (as in I ALWAYS choose the wrong one - no matter where, no matter what!) and the magical power of being invisible to bartenders.

Once in our room (she liked that, too! pretty groovy!) Sophie and I proceeded to dance around the room singing 'New York' to the radio at the top of our lungs, jumping on the bed, and throwing our clothes out of our bags as our manner of unpacking. In the next few days, we saw some Broadway shows, went to museums, did some shopping, ate great pizza - ate at Sardi's (in honor of my trips there with my grandmother)and basically had a great time.

At 16, Sophie felt like most girls do at that age. Half way in between a grownup and a child. She wanted to do that NYC nightlife thing - at least a LITTLE. When I went to NYC with my grandmother at 16, I could go to a bar or a nightclub with her (think the Algonquin)and nobody thought twice about it. As long as you were with your Mom or grandmother, it just wasn't a big deal. She even ordered me Brandy Alexanders sometimes.
But now it's different. So strict! I couldn't take Sophie anywhere like that.

But then, the night we were walking back down Broadway from 'Hair', this super charming, bouncy fellow accosted us.
"You want to go to a Piano bar? It's right around the corner? No cover! It's really fun! You'll love it! I promise!" he rattled off to us as he thrust fliers into both our hands.
"Oh, she's only 16..." I told him.
"That's ok! It's all ages! Brand new place - come on! Give it a try - I'll walk you there!"
The guy reminded me of 'Tigger' from the old Disney Winnie the Pooh cartoons. I expected him to start bouncing 6 feet in the air at any moment.
Sophie shrugged, 'Why not?', so we followed the exuberant young man around the corner, down the block and down some stairs into one of the strangest spaces I have ever seen in Manhattan.

The entrance to the piano bar was a long narrow hallway. Extremely nondescript. The hallway opened up into a rather large, empty space with a makeshift bar by the other end of the hallway. In one corner was a small stage with a piano on it, and a man playing piano. The room was painted light grey, was devoid of ANY artwork of any kind - in fact all of the walls were completely empty except for a dry-erase board near the piano player. The chairs and cafe tables seemed to be second hand - but the MOST NONDESCRIPT black tables and chairs imaginable.It looked like an office space had been cleared out yesterday, and someone moved a piano in.(Viola!! Piano Bar!) There were 3 other people in the joint. A surly looking old man sitting by himself, and a middle aged couple (bridge and tunnelers by the look of it) making out and getting plastered over in far corner. The piano player was playing and singing raucously - as if the whole place were filled with merry tourists throwing tips at him.

Sophie and I looked at each other in dismay. I was sure this was NOTHING like she had imagined New York City nightlife to be like. "You want to go?" I leaned over and whispered to her.
But before she could answer, a strange young man came out from behind the strange makeshift looking bar and introduced himself.
"Welcome, welcome, ladies!" he said happily, pumping both of our hands as if we were long lost family."I'm John, where would you like to sit? The first drink's on me!"

We opted to sit right by the bar - as close to that get-away hallway as possible. "How about my special drink for the LADIEEEESSS?" John suggested. Sophie and I looked at each other, trying not to laugh. All of a sudden it felt like we were slipping into some bizarre Will Ferrell movie.
The night became more and more surreal as we stayed. The bartender (who seemed about 20) fell head over heels in love with Sophie, and kept bringing us strange pink,bubbly drinks all night. A comedy show next door emptied out, and all of a sudden the piano player had people to sing to. At one point, I came back from the restroom to find Sophie behind the bar concocting some crazy drink for me with smitten John. We sang Billy Joel at the top of our lungs along with everyone else in there, and walked back to the hotel singing and laughing in the cold. Just as we were getting to our corner, Sophie turned to me and said "You know what we need right now?"
"A warm hotel room?" I asked
"No! Ice cream!" she beamed, triumphantly. "And maybe chocolate cake!"

As we munched on chocolate cake and ice cream back in our warm hotel room, Sophie and I could not stop laughing about that crazy, weird place - and night.
"Thanks for bringing me here, Mom." Sophie said."I'll never forget it."
"Thanks for coming. " I replied.

I'll never forget it either, Soph.