Grant Show puts Max and I up in London.

Well, writing about 90210 and Aaron Spelling, has made me think about Grant Show - and that whole story. So, I guess that's what's on the menu for tonight.

When Max and I first arrived in London (so I could go to the London Academy of Music and Dramatic art - LAMDA), I realized REAL quick how prohibitively expensive it would be to live ANYWHERE near the school - in town. So we got Joe Alessi on board and moved out to the country. Which was fabulous - EXCEPT that the trains stopped going out there at midnight. So, if you got stuck in town after midnight - it was a nightmare getting home! One night, I did miss the train - by 5 minutes - and I had to take the busses - MANY busses - and it took FOREVER! It was epic. I finally got home when the sun was just peaking over the horizon.

So, when I met Grant, and he offered for Max and I to stay at his flat in town any time we needed to - it was quite a nice thing.

Grant Show was in my class. He was a soap opera actor from New York, who I was HIGHLY suspicious of. He'd left a job on 'Ryan's Hope' to come and better his acting at LAMDA. This, on it's own - I felt was admirable. (are you getting a sense of what a TERRIBLE acting snob I was? I was QUITE the little idiot.) I was suspicious of any soap actor, first of all, and second of all - Grant Show was just TOO PRETTY. I was horribly snobbish and cold to him for the first few weeks of school. Which really makes how nice he was to me EVEN NICER.

Grant and I were in the same Shakespearean scene class. It was kind of the mother of all classes. We were taught by the grande dame of LAMDA, an older woman with white air and a soul made of pure steel. Grant was assigned 'Romeo and Juliet', and I was assigned a scene from 'Hamlet'. I was playing Gertrude, Hamlet's evil, queen mother. The first time we put our scenes up in front of everyone for review, I was feeling pretty good about myself - and I hate to admit it - but ready to laugh gales at Grant Show, the pretty soap opera boy. (You see how hideous I was? Truly!)

Grant and his partner went up next to last - before me. I was shocked. SHOCKED at how well he did. He REALLY wasn't bad. Even I HAD to admit it.

The Dame got up to review it."Not bad." she said. (from her it might as well have been a Tony!) "Not bad at all. Grant, you surprised me with the freshness of your feelings. You have obviously done your homework as far as the content and meaning of the work, and it shows. But above this - I was impressed at how natural your performance was. I BELIEVED you as Romeo - in the moment - and this is, perhaps, as good as it gets."

Grant smiled his perfect white smile, and I felt something growl inside of me. Some snobbish, competitive demon did NOT like it that Grant was getting this praise. From the HARDEST teacher we had BY FAR!!!! She criticized EVERYONE! She was hard as STEEL! Like a cold, Shakespearean robot! How DARE this ULTRA good looking SOAP actor from Ryan's Hope get such praise!!! And yet - he WAS good. SURPRISINGLY good. And I couldn't deny it for as much as I wanted to.

Then it was my turn.
We got up and did our scene. I felt like I had more knowledge of Shakespeare than most of these kids going in. And I felt like I was a better actress. (I TOLD you I was hideous.)So, I was expecting some good feedback. I felt it was gangbusters.

The Dame got up to review us. She concentrated on me.
"Jennifer. " she said. Her tone was that of a Salem lawyer calling out a witch. "WHY are you IN this school?"
I looked at her in utter confusion.
"WHY have you decided to WASTE your family's money so that you can ATTEND this school? WHY are you WASTING OUR TIME?"

She looked down her face at me - sitting cross legged on the floor. I was in shock, but I managed, "I paid for my own tuition.."
"Well, THAT'S a relief." she replied, haughtily. "Because for the LIFE of me - I can not imagine WHY you are here. You have a CHILD? A BABY?"
"Yes. Yes, I do."
"And you have DRAGGED it to this school - half way across the world with you?" (she used the word 'it')
"I did NOT approve of your acceptance here. I do NOT think you are serious about acting as a career. And THAT is what WE are about at LAMDA."

Oh, Lord! I was fighting back the tears at this point. I did NOT want this HORRID woman to see me cry! I would NOT let her see me cry! I WOULD NOT.
She went on. "Look at you. You are a mess. You're wearing clothes 2 sizes too big, I have no idea what your body looks like, your hair is in your face - I have no idea what your FACE looks like. Does anyone HERE know what this creature looks like?" she demanded of the class. Everyone just sort of sat there - they were in shock, too. This was by FAR the worst calling out that had happened in her class - and it seemed a bit...personal.
"Why don't you do us all a FAVOR and pull your hair out of your face, dear."
I did. My hair was growing out from a short hair cut, and it WAS in my face half the time.
"Well - look at that. She DOES have a face, after all. And it's not entirely hideous."
At this point, I couldn't breath. I was trying so hard to be strong - not to cry. I had been knocked off of my pedestal but GOOD.

"Come up here with me, dear." she sneered. "Where everyone can take a look at you."
I did. We stood in the middle of the cold, damp room - everyone else in the class (including Grant) looking at me with pity. Happy that it wasn't THEM.

Dame Pamela pulled my clothing tighter to my body. I had lost quite a few pounds already at LAMDA, and, indeed, my clothes hung off of me. I was so broke - so DEAD broke - and ALL of my money went to feeding Max and paying his nanny. I practically LIVED on Guinness there.As broke as I was, there always seemed to be some guy, or someone offering to buy me a drink - and I had heard that Guinness had some vitamins and iron - so that's what I always asked for. I really lived on it - but I was skinny as hell.

She went on, "Look at you. You look like a starving bird. And pale and sickly. Do you HAVE a pair of decent Wellies?"
"No Ma'am."
"I thought not. Well, I don't want to see you in this class again without some clothes that actually FIT you, your hair out of your face, and some decent Wellies. This isn't TEXAS, child. It's cold and damp, and you'll catch your death if you don't have proper attire."
She motioned for me to sit down again, which I did with relief.
"And as for your SCENE...." she looked at me and my acting partner with a look that shot daggers, "How can you POSSIBLY expect ANYONE to believe that you are a QUEEN? It's terrible. you are flitting about as though you defy gravity. I don't care HOW slight you are - you must convince me - CONVINCE your audience that you HAVE WEIGHT. You are a QUEEN. Think about what that means. You are playing someone who has a grown son. I NEED to FEEL the WEIGHT of this part.I need to feel your importance in this world. The KINGDOM has been groveling at your feet - serving you - since your infancy! Do you understand?"

I said 'yes', she dismissed the class, and I barely made it outside before I burst into a flood of tears.
I found the corner of a four hundred year old building to cry on. The floodgates opened. I had been so ARROGANT! I thought I was the best in the class, quite frankly - and BOY - had I been taken DOWN. In front of everyone. It was horrible. My shoulders were shaking I was sobbing so hard.
Grant saw me and stopped. All the other people in our class were too embarrassed to.
"I didn't think it was so bad." he said.
Oh GOD!!! The guy I had been making FUN of in my mind - and even TEASING out loud for being on a bloody SOAP!!! HE was being NICE???? It was too much! Mr. Pretty Boy!!!
"Look, she's got a reputation for being kind of a bitch...y'know...sometimes." Grant said, warmly.
"Yea, when you SUCK!" I wailed.
"You didn't suck. You really didn't."
I looked at him, all snotty and tear stained and disgusting.
"I mean it." he went on, "there were a few people in there that sucked WAY more than you - I promise!"
That made me laugh, and then and there Grant Show won my respect.He was actually a GOOD actor, AND he was GENUINELY NICE!

"Look, there's a party tonight. You should come." he said.
"Thanks, but I have Max." I heaved through my shame filled tears.
"So, bring him. It's not a wild club party or anything. It's at my friend's place. He's got a really nice place, probably nice food - and you guys can crash at my place if it gets too late. No problem."
I wiped my face on my sleeve and looked at this perfect looking guy. Why was he being so nice? To me?

Oh well, 'Life is short', I thought. I took Max to the party, we had a great time. I got a little drunk (I was SOOOO upset at my bad review) and we slept at Grant's for the first time. He was a gentleman. Absolutely. He gave us the living room, and he went on in to his bedroom.He had a girlfriend in New York. What a good guy.

At the end of the first semester of school, we all had to put our Shakespeare scenes up in front of EVERYONE. All of the other students and teachers - everyone.
Naturally, I was terrified.
But I had been working hard.
Pamela had told me that I should feel rooted - that I should imagine my feet literally being roots that grew from the earth like tree roots. OLD tree roots. HEAVY tree roots.

Again, Grant went before us. Again, they did well.

Then it was our turn. I had borrowed clothes that fit me a little better. I pulled my hair from my face and clipped it there. I channelled that bitch of a queen like a freaking psychic. I OWNED the space. That stage - that KINGDOM - was MINE. I'd be DAMNED if any famous Shakespearean teacher told me I couldn't do GERTRUDE!

When we finished the scene, we got a standing ovation.
That was all well and good - but I was looking for Dame Pamela. I wanted my DUE.
She came on the stage, straight away. Held our hands up like champion boxers who have just won a match. Then she turned to me.

"Well, dear. You DID it. You REALLY did." She KISSED my hand, and then my partner's. "Fantastic work, loves! FANTASTIC!"

There was wine and cheese to be had after our scene (the last one) - and all the teachers to mingle with. I felt triumphant. They all came up to me and praised the scene, the work. But the best of all was when Pamela came up to me in private.
"Well, you've convinced me. That you belong here. It was quite fantastic, Jennifer. I love to see that determination."
"Well, thank you." I said, taking it in.
"I really didn't think you belonged here - with the baby and everything. You showed me raw emotion from the very first day - loads of it. But that's simply not enough. You MUST be able to take CARE of yourself, and you MUST be able to DEMAND respect, DEMAND attention on the stage when it needs to be yours. There is no room for timidity, or false humility when one is doing Gertrude. That's why I assigned it to you. I gave you the opposite of what I immediately saw in you. And you have risen to the occasion."
"Thank you. We both worked really hard on the scene."
"Well, it was beautiful. It really was. BUT....have you managed to find a pair of Wellingtons?"
I had to laugh. And almost cry. She was such a hard-ass!

And, NO. I never DID "find" a pair of decent wellies!