Summer Lovin'....

I am just back from the Hollywood Bowl. From the 'Grease' sing along that IAA organized. It was super fun. I went with my brother, Marcus. There were probably hundreds of drunk pink ladies there. Marcus and I couldn't stop laughing at the spectacle and energy of THOUSANDS of girls and women of all ages (and I do mean ALL) - most of whom seemed to be completely LOADED by the time we walked back to our car. There were hot 40 year olds carrying bottles of vodka and drinking right from the bottle, and hot 30 year olds with champaign, and twenty somethings with their gay BFFs, and I saw a drunk 80 year old woman in a poodle skirt with rollers in her hair being led down the stairs by her drunk 50 year old girlfriends (also dressed up!) There were daughter/mother teams and Father/daughter teams. It was super cute.

I thought about Marieke (see Marieke post for relevance), but I thought about her in a good way. For once able to remember such sweet and specific things about her without crying and hurting so badly. I thought about my daughters. And I thought about love.

'Grease' is such an interesting movie. With influences from 'Romeo and Juliet' to 'The Gift of the Magi' to 'Rebel Without a Cause' - the story is about love. Plain and simple. And it's about sex and sexuality. The perfect 70's classic - an homage to the fifties, but also breaking out a message of cool 70's sexual liberation. It was really fun to hear the crowd SCREAM bloody murder when Sandy is revealed as her new sexy self, all done up in her Candies and spandex.

A couple of days ago, I declared on facebook that I intend to have a brilliant summer. And that summer has begun. Last summer was full of loneliness, heartbreak and stress for me, and I won't do that again this sumer. I wrote about mutant powers after seeing the new X-men movie - and I have started to experiment with my own to astounding results.

Let me explain.
For much of this last school year (I still measure everything in school years) I have been pining over an old boyfriend. Someone who materialized from my distant past and made me realize that I have screwed EVERYTHING up as far as love goes. And it's been hard. No one can live up to him. No one. So, this dinosaur/superman/love of my life guy sweeps in and CLEARLY DEMONSTRATES that I'm screwed (as far as love goes) - and I just think, "Why bother? Why bother getting up in the morning or going to the gym or anything? What is a life without love? True love?" That's what I've been thinking every week for months. I know. I sound like a pussy. And I DO have love. My kids - OBVIOUSLY. They are awesome - and of course I have them and I am very lucky. But you know what I mean.

So, after living in the hospital for almost a month with my daughter, I started feeling like I just HAD to get back to myself again. But didn't know how. So - first things first - plays, movies, art, music. And after the X-men thing, I had to ask myself, "What do you want?"
My answer was "I don't know."
There would be NO boyfriend that could live up to this old love from the past, and also I am gun shy about boyfriends after the last couple - but STILL... I crave romance and intimacy.
I gave my mutant powers a try.
I decided to WILL a romantic fling - complete with good conversation, kisses and snuggling - into my summer.
And night before last.....the Gods, or my own powers, or fate, or WHO KNOWS - dropped the perfect fantasy evening into my lap.

At the end of a fun, adventurous night with my friend, Ted - and after picking Mark up at LAX at midnight, the most random coincidence occurred - right down the street from my house, at my neighborhood French restaurant. Ted wants more whiskey at the end of the night. It's past last call here in early LA, and Mark is tired and cranky from a long, bad flight. Ted persuades us both to stop at La Poubelle for a nightcap after I confirm that there is no liquor in the house.
"None at ALL?" he demands. "NO WINE? ANYTHING?"
"Sorry, nothing." I reply.
We go in and sit at the bar at La Poubelle. The bartender is nowhere to be seen. But sitting next to me is an incredibly handsome man. He turns to me, holding his beer. He looks like Joaquin Phoenix - only more handsome. He has incredibly intense blue-grey eyes, rimmed with black eyelashes and a gap between his 2 front teeth - just like me. We discuss the whereabouts of the bartender. When said bartender arrives, Mr. Fantasy-come-to-life buys my drink. This rarely happens in LA. Then he asks me to keep him company for a smoke.

He turns out to be a father and a neighbor. Not only a neighbor - he lives about 5 houses away from me. He comes home with me to 'hang out some more'...you know - meet the neighbors.
Sophie is home by now. She meets him and gives me an enthusiastic thumbs up.
"He is SOOOO attractive!" she whispers to me. Now I feel like the teenager - hoping he didn't hear her. I give him a tour. Ending up in the back yard. Which is more like a field with a view than a yard. We stand in the tall grass, looking over at the mansions on the other side of the hills. The moon looks like it's made of paper.We talk about how great this neighborhood is - how much fun it is to have deer in our back yard and skunks and raccoons - in such a big city. Then he walks towards me. He takes my hands in his.
"I just want to kiss you right now."
That's what he said.
And so he did.

Ed says my blog shouldn't have "adult content" warning because it's so tame. And maybe he's right. But still..... the rest of this story is going on my fiction blog. Let it suffice to say.....those kisses under the paper moon turned into the fantasy night that I asked for and WILLED into being. They were an answer to....something. Some question of love. Or summer. Or the power to will something to happen - or God - or fate - or I don't know.

All I know is that that night turned into a night that dreams are made of. Really movie style dreams - unbelievable. I kept thinking "I'm dreaming. this isn't really happening..."

And tonight, at the Hollywood Bowl, in the cool and temperate weather we are blessed with - watching the drama of the beautiful Hollywood sky unfold with the movie - I thought once again - "This can't be real. I am living in a dream. In a faery tale. But I WILL take it. I will accept this gift."

I may not have summer love. True love. But I will TAKE some summer lovin'.
And thank you - whoever - for it.