Sunday, April 7, 2013

Deja Vu

As she listened to the music, it felt like she was not ONLY listening with her ears and her brain. The combination of this music and her emotions drugged her inside and out. She could not take her eyes off of the love of her life, and yet she felt she couldn't see him clearly. Tears were in the way for one thing. Hot tears. And lots of them. She tried to keep her body as frozen as possible so no one would notice her deranged, helpless state - but even as her body stiffened, she felt transported to another place and time.
Without closing her eyes, her psyche was inondated with visceral memories from many, many years past.

        *********************************************************************

He played, and she was on the beach of a lake. It was foggy. She was waiting for him. jumping out of her skin with anticipation. She didn't know if he would come. The fog parted like a curtain, and he made his entrance into her world for real. He was tall and thin, with the softest, sweetest eyes ever given to a man. Searching eyes. He looked around a little, then laughed very slightly.

"Is it you?" he said.
"Yes." she said, feeling like her insides were about to explode. With happiness and nervousness and seventeen year old hormones.
"You wrote the notes?" He asked.
"Yes. It was me."
He looked a little bit baffled. Moved closer to her. Shook his head, laughing nervously again.
"Wow. I never would have guessed it was you."
"Why not? Who else would it be?"
"I don't know.." he smiled down at her shyly, "..just not you."

They were quiet for a moment, listening to the lapping water. The sound of the water was so calmimg, and the fog felt like peace - but they were in another place. Transported by a much stronger energy.
"Are you disappointed?" she asked, trying to see his face in the dark fog.
"No." he said. "Not at all. Are you kidding?"

He was so close to her now. His body was like a magnet. She pulled him to her by his shirt, stood on her toes and kissed him. He kissed her back. His lips were warm and perfect, his breath was like sex and home all at once. And although it was a soft, gentle kiss - it instantly left her wanting more and everything.
It was a perfect first kiss.

He leaned over her. Whispered, "I can't believe you were my secret admirer."
"Why not?" she asked, trying to be flirtatious and not just throw her arms around him and hold on for dear life.
"I don't know..." he whispered, close to her face. He kissed her again. His lips sent hot waves of longing all through her body. "I just can't"

She took him to her dorm room that night. They kissed and talked for hours. She wanted to rip all of his clothes off and do everything with him. But she didn't.
His hair was so soft. It was like silk.
Sitting in that concert hall, she could remember exactly how it felt and smelled. How his shirt felt on her cheek. How his skin felt under her hand. She remembered exactly how it felt to finally have him in her arms, and how from the very first few moments she knew that she never wanted him to leave.

3 comments:

  1. It's an afternoon without many tasks and I'm reading in the office, Ah! and
    that is beautiful. Thank you Jenni.

    ReplyDelete