Mr. Earl on Delancey st.

Christopher Earl.
I really did love him. And i still do. And he's very hard for me to write about, because I know I won't do him justice.
That being said, and MEANT, I give it a little try. A whimper. A hint.
I can hardly think of him without crying. Really think about him. And all the stuff we went through. Not just in these first weeks in NYC, but also before at Interlochen, and later, when Steve Fox flew me to New york for that Broadway show. With Max.
There are only a couple of men (or boys, or men) that I've really put up on a pedestal, and he is one of them. He deserves to be up there.

Chris Earl is sweet as the day is long. He is kind and loyal and self effacing. he has a wicked sense of humor - and I've never heard it at someone else's expense. He MIGHT not be a Saint...but, then again, he MIGHT be. And he is one of the most beautiful creatures God ever put on this planet. Eric, without a doubt, was Prince Charming.....but to me...Chris was far more beautiful.

Chris had a face I couldn't stop looking at. He had - and has - a face like no-one else in the world. I told you about his great big eyes with the longest eyelashes i have ever seen, and his great BIG beautiful lips - which parted into the BIGGEST, HAPPIEST smile - just made you feel like you were with a super awesome, happy kid when he smiled like that. He held nothing back. i thought many times about his mother when I was with him. Only someone with a GREAT mother could be so honest and open and unabashedly full of happiness and love. Especially someone that smart. Chris was and is REALLY smart. Like....REALLY smart. The fucker is probably MENSA. If you haven't heard HIS version of a blog - all these music associated memories - check them out. He tells all these stories to and about the influential music in his life - and it's really great. I shall try to climb out of my tech-tard standing long enough to come back and hook you up with the link later.

Chris Earl and I slept in the same small bed those first weeks of mine in NYC. We talked about anything and everything. We took long walks, and later went out dancing to some of the coolest clubs. Somehow, bruce and eric and Chris KNEW all the coolest clubs. They introduced me to a LOT of really cool music. I can't listen to C and C music factory, or Soul to Soul without thinking of that time - or Phillip Glass - and so much other stuff I'd bore the crap out of you - and you wouldn't recognize it anyway.
We kissed and snuggled and went to Katz's deli for great big pastrami sandwiches and pickles....he showed me where the heroine addicts hung out in Alphabet City (so I could avoid them) , he made me feel safe when we heard gunshots coming from across the street - (that burned out building turned out to be a big drug dealer hang out)....and we did just about everything together - except have sex. We never did. Never.

Later in the year, (I wasn't staying there anymore), Eric and Chris and I were hanging out for New Years Eve. None of us had any money, or anything to do. So we walked around the Lower East Side sort of aimlessly - and ended up watching an apartment building burn down. We had a bottle of cheap bubbly from an all night deli - we popped it and watched the whole scene. The giant flames, the fire trucks...I remember we all had a toast with paper cups and said we would never forget that New Year's Eve.

I looked at beautiful Chris and wondered why the sex thing never happened with us...I assumed it was because I wasn't pretty enough, or smart enough. Or maybe he wasn't ready. Or maybe neither of us wanted to risk our friendship. I had him so far up on that pedestal, I was ALMOST afraid of him. Or afraid of his judgement or something. But I do remember looking at him on that New Year's Eve and thinking, "No one will ever be this beautiful.I have missed my chance, and he will end up with someone wonderful, and I'll never know what that would be like." ....a regret for my past and future....

But in those first weeks in NYC, Chris and Bruce and Eric had my back. I knew how lucky I was. And I knew I HAD to find a JOB!!!!