I am going to fail culinary school.
This is a fact.
A statement.
Right now, I am (let's face it) chowing down on the plum/blueberry tart I just made tonight. It is FABULOUS. It really is. The perfect amount of sweet to tart - soft to flaky. And I made it to cheer myself up from a BAD day at culinary school.
The thing is - I'm not good at math. And all these years - I guess I've just somehow faked my way through things - SOMEHOW changing a recipe for for Moroccan chicken that serves 8 into a dish that serves 150. How did I DO it without the math???? I DON'T KNOW!!!! I really don't. Apparently I am super math challenged. Well, I knew it all along. I'm dyslectic. Mr. K held my hand through the last 2 years of high school math at an ART SCHOOL!!!! My 14 year old is 4 years past any math I ever did right now. I SUCK.
And the thing is that this school preached a good sermon about giving extra help, etc - but they're not around. They are going fast as lightening and there's no time for an old broad like myself.
"How many teaspoons in a gallon?" - who the hell knows THAT???
How do you turn 5 pounds of potatoes into ounces???? I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW!!!!!
Some kid barked at me - SCOLDED me - for scrubbing a pot that had food stuck on it the other day.
"We don't DO that." he said, condescendingly. "We just just dip 'em."
I looked at him in horror.
"The 'THREE DIP SYSTEM'!!???" he asked me as if I were an imbecile.
I just don't know. If there's food STUCK on a pot or pan, you gotta SCRUB it. RIGHT? I don't want someone serving ME food that's just been cooked in a bunch of sani solution with goodness knows what else all over that pan....!
I started bawling TWICE today in front of my instructors. VERY embarassing. I am BEHIND on the math stuff. And I'm not making any excuses for that. That's WHY I came to culinary school. To learn all that. I know I've been faking it all these years. I WANT to learn the math. I do. But - I think it's the attitudes and the lack of ANY ...whatever - kindness - that's really getting to me.
And the thing is - is that sometimes I feel like getting up and making a speech when these kids are such brats - saying (all public- movie-speech-style) "You know what? Most of you are the ages of my children. And I GET that you just look at me and see some older woman and don't want me here. But - if your mom or dad ever came to your side and was protective of you - think about this : What if YOUR mom was in culinary school as part of a second career move? Wouldn't you be proud of her? Wouldn't you want the other students to be decent to her - regardless of anybody's age?"
That's what I would like to say to some of these students.
And, bottom line is, we're producing food every day. Some of it REALLY sucks. But nothing I have had a hand in so far has. It's always tasted GOOD.
Math or no math, culinary school or not - what's good is GOOD - right?
This is a fact.
A statement.
Right now, I am (let's face it) chowing down on the plum/blueberry tart I just made tonight. It is FABULOUS. It really is. The perfect amount of sweet to tart - soft to flaky. And I made it to cheer myself up from a BAD day at culinary school.
The thing is - I'm not good at math. And all these years - I guess I've just somehow faked my way through things - SOMEHOW changing a recipe for for Moroccan chicken that serves 8 into a dish that serves 150. How did I DO it without the math???? I DON'T KNOW!!!! I really don't. Apparently I am super math challenged. Well, I knew it all along. I'm dyslectic. Mr. K held my hand through the last 2 years of high school math at an ART SCHOOL!!!! My 14 year old is 4 years past any math I ever did right now. I SUCK.
And the thing is that this school preached a good sermon about giving extra help, etc - but they're not around. They are going fast as lightening and there's no time for an old broad like myself.
"How many teaspoons in a gallon?" - who the hell knows THAT???
How do you turn 5 pounds of potatoes into ounces???? I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW!!!!!
Some kid barked at me - SCOLDED me - for scrubbing a pot that had food stuck on it the other day.
"We don't DO that." he said, condescendingly. "We just just dip 'em."
I looked at him in horror.
"The 'THREE DIP SYSTEM'!!???" he asked me as if I were an imbecile.
I just don't know. If there's food STUCK on a pot or pan, you gotta SCRUB it. RIGHT? I don't want someone serving ME food that's just been cooked in a bunch of sani solution with goodness knows what else all over that pan....!
I started bawling TWICE today in front of my instructors. VERY embarassing. I am BEHIND on the math stuff. And I'm not making any excuses for that. That's WHY I came to culinary school. To learn all that. I know I've been faking it all these years. I WANT to learn the math. I do. But - I think it's the attitudes and the lack of ANY ...whatever - kindness - that's really getting to me.
And the thing is - is that sometimes I feel like getting up and making a speech when these kids are such brats - saying (all public- movie-speech-style) "You know what? Most of you are the ages of my children. And I GET that you just look at me and see some older woman and don't want me here. But - if your mom or dad ever came to your side and was protective of you - think about this : What if YOUR mom was in culinary school as part of a second career move? Wouldn't you be proud of her? Wouldn't you want the other students to be decent to her - regardless of anybody's age?"
That's what I would like to say to some of these students.
And, bottom line is, we're producing food every day. Some of it REALLY sucks. But nothing I have had a hand in so far has. It's always tasted GOOD.
Math or no math, culinary school or not - what's good is GOOD - right?
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