Mark meets Mark

Well, now I am inspired to tell this story, because there is the cutest photo of little Keen staring at me on my desk.

If you want to hear what happened with Peter and I, you'll have to ask. That's all there is to it.

Now, this story is NOT first hand. I apologize - but it is key - and I was not here when it happened.

I have told you that Mark has been my babysitter among many other things. Dear and wonderful Mark - who only today helped me carry LOADS of crap down to the curb from my back yard, 40 steps up, for trash removal tomorrow. My house looks like the Beverly Hillbillies thanks to our endeavors. But, hopefully, the entire mountain of crap will be removed tomorrow. (thank you, LA!)

Well, a few years ago, I asked Mark to babysit for a long weekend. He was in charge of Izzy, Sophie, and August while I was in Arizona for a work/romantic weekend rolled into one. While I was looking for glow in the dark scorpions in the middle of the desert, Mark was in charge of the house. I trusted him completely. I knew the kids wouldn't be left with the TV for 3 days in a row, but would be doing fun things like building tents, or playing board games.

And sure enough, when I got back, the entire TV room was a giant tent, and the girls' room was mostly tented, too. I had left Mark with some fun activities, I thought. I bought face paints especially for the trip, and stocked up on Sophie's fail-proof food of choice - macaroni and cheese. She was going through her 'difficult' period then. Uncle B said she was on the 'white diet' - which meant she only wanted to eat things with very little color. You know, mac'n cheese, bread,pizza, pasta with only butter, french fries - that kind of thing. White food. The one thing she loved that WASN'T white was chocolate ice cream. Which Sophie proudly wore on her face and clothes until she was about 13 years old MOST of the time.

One recent development in our lives, was the arrival of new and fabulous neighbors - Mark and Sunrise Ruffalo. They had initially looked at my house to rent, and ended up (after a call from me) moving into the house right next to us on the cul-de-sac. It was a happy arrangement for all. I adored them both, and was overjoyed to have another cool, young mom around to shoot the shit with. Keen (their little boy) was just a little younger than August, and loved to come over and play. Izzy loved Keen and was very mothering to him. It was altogether adorable.

So, upon my return from the glowing scorpions in Arizona, this is what transpired....

MARK: Oh my God, you have NO idea what this weekend has been like!

ME: Why? What happened? It sounded like everything was going fine....?

MARK: Well first of all you are EVIL, leaving that face paint! I don't think I can ever babysit for you again!

ME: WHY? What happened?

MARK: What DIDN'T happen!?? Your DAUGHTER is just TOO MUCH, first of all! But you will NEVER believe what she did to me!

ME: What did she do?

MARK: Well, she tortured August, first of all, AND she was a complete DIVA about her damn macaroni and cheese! You would think it was some gourmet delicacy that I couldn't get right for a food critic! - but that's not even the STORY! You will NOT believe it!

ME: Believe WHAT???

MARK: Well, after hiding those damn face paints successfully for THREE DAYS... Sophie finally GUILTED me into 'finding them', and talked me into letting her dress me up like some kind of freakish superhero - I mean not even COOL - you know? Like, some kind of crazy, caped Green Lantern or some ghetto superhero - with green paint ALL over my FACE....I mean, I looked CRAZY!

ME: Yes? And what? WHAT???

MARK: Well, I'm running around the house in this cape and green face paint, and someone knocks on the door.... (BIG pause for dramatic effect) ....it's MARK RUFFALO! Asking for SUGAR! He wants to borrow SUGAR - and I'm in this crazy outfit - I mean I just felt ridiculous! A HUGE movie star comes - not when I'm looking COOL, mind you, but when I'm in a cape with a totally GREEN FACE! Who borrows SUGAR, anyway? That's like something out of the FIFTIES!!!!

I burst out laughing, of course (pretty funny story) - and then say (as soon as I can breath)

ME: Oh, Mark! That probably just made him like you MORE!

MARK: OH my God! He probably thinks I'm CRAZY!

And sure enough, that was the event that REALLY sold Mark and Sunrise on the kind of people that they were living next to. If they had had any doubts - they now knew that THIS was the kind of family that made their living room into a giant tent and had super tall, gay , male babysitters running around with capes and green face paint on. They came over ALL the time after that! In fact, they came over so often, that THAT is how we started calling Mark 'Gay Mark'. It was to differentiate him from Mark Ruffalo.

Mark and Sunrise live in upstate New York now, and I only see Mark Ruffalo once in a blue moon. But, unfortunately for my best mate, 'Gay Mark' has stuck like glue.