the HOARDER downstairs, or: "Don't do anything....don't FUCK anything up!"

I have a crazy man living in my downstairs apartment.
He is getting crazier by the day, the weak, the hour. I've only known him for 3 years, but he DOES seem to be getting worse by the year. He's like a hoarder with no possessions.
Let's call him Roosevelt, just for fun.
He is not a bad looking man. He is slim, and fit. Not too tall, not too short. Brown hair that is quickly going salt and pepper on him - which is hysterical to me ESPECIALLY because he's constantly mocking how OLD I am. How much OLDER I am than he. He's 10 years younger than I am - but my kids and their friends, for instance, find it confusing, because he SEEMS my age or older. His style of dress has gone from old man to even older man. Same for hair cuts and glasses. Triple that for his posture, and language. Roosevelt looks at all times like he is about to close his cardigan a little tighter around his nervous being and bring a corn-cob pipe to his lips - you know, in preparation for crossing his legs in the club chair and spinning a good (if caustic) yarn.

Roosevelt is sick. He is sick in the head and getting sicker - I am convinced.
He is a 'hoarder' without possessions. And by that I mean that he owns NOTHING more than he needs, and is stingy to a fault - to SUCH a fault, that he can not own, or receive, or give affection - for instance. His affection, trust and optimism are things that he MIGHT be accused of NOT HAVING. I, however, believe that he DOES have these things - the normal stash of things that people have - love being at the TOP of the list - he just HOARDS them.

The way Roosevelt deals with love or kindness is very similar in MY mind to the way those hoarder people deal with their worldly goods and junk.
Hoarders hold on to everything they can and place this huge false value upon things - even when those same things are killing them. They can't throw out food sometimes - even when it has become a toxic mold - or a kitty they once loved - even though that kitten is dead and needs to be recycled into the earth before its' dead carcass kills the 26 OTHER cats living with crazy-cat- lady-hoarder.

Roosevelt is like this with his feelings.
Two women in particular have become toxic mold in his brain. And very much like those people on the show, 'Hoarders', Roosevelt doesn't go OUT that often. He lives with his more and more toxic feelings and memories the way hoarders live with their over valued JUNK - the stuff that is consuming and KILLING them - they just can't be away from it - and also - don't you get the feeling from watching the show - that they are also really ASHAMED?
This is Roosevelt. Ashamed to go out. Consumed with his toxic, ancient feelings. Trying to hold on to things that change in a futile effort to make them STAY the same - or even reverse themselves. He is unlike most hoarders in that he knows there is a problem. That IS, after all, what "THEY" say is the first step.
And he is taking happy pills. I know SO many people who take them. And not ONE of them tells me they are actually HAPPIER for it.
The way i see it, Roosevelt takes happy pills for his unmoving toxic stash of broken hearted feelings the same way hoarders just erect a new shed - or start filling up the bathroom. Problem SOLVED!!! More TOXIC CRAP CAN FIT!!!! another day can be lived without needing to recognize that the ONLY constant in our lives - our short,sort lives - is change itself.